Update

We've spent the last two days sorting out the correct information from the rumors & trying to make sense of everything with little progress. There are so many stories out there & none of them so far have all the info. So far we are sticking with the most reliable source which says that the main part of the plane, I guess that would be the cockpit, was mostly in tact. The rest of the plane was in pieces. They found their bodies & by the damage done, could tell they were killed on impact. It is nice to know they didn't suffer. I did find another news report, however, that is a good one.

Family Talks About Plane Crash Victims

As you can tell, it's after midnight again & I feel no signs of being able to sleep. So I'm blogging. I just got done reading my sister-in-law, Ranie's blog...she's got a whole bunch posted about it. She did a great job with getting the details out & updating everything. She also has some good pics, including some cute ones of Colin & Jed when they were little. You should check it out.(You can link to it from my sidebar.)

I got to spend a little bit of time today with Regina (my aunt) & the girls (my cousins). Shelley, Jordan's wife, was there for a few minutes. I was even more at a loss for words with them. I told them I was sorry & that I was praying for them. I talked with Regina for a few minutes & then excused myself to give them the time together. There really aren't words to describe the mood, the feelings in that room that nobody ever wants to feel. After leaving, my heart hurt more than before.

I have come to two conclusions. The first is that I've lived a pretty sheltered life. Just over four years ago my dad's parents died within 3 months of each other. That was the first time that I'd lost someone close to me. It was hard & I felt a lot of pain for my dad in losing his parents. But at the same time, the whole family knew that they were better off. Their health had been failing for a while. I think that gave us all comfort. Then when my mom's dad passed away, it was so sudden. Even though he was getting old enough that we were all subconsciously getting prepared, it still hit everyone pretty hard. We all felt a tremendous amount of pain for my grandma. But really, up until that point, I hadn't had to deal with much loss. I know that when you love someone, you hurt when they hurt(I think that is something every mother learns all too quickly). But I guess I was kind of naive about it. I had no idea that I would hurt so badly for everyone else who is so much closer to the situation. The second conclusion is that I want to continue to be sheltered.

So, if you're still reading at this point, thanks for sticking with me through my ramblings about my feelings & please keep my aunt, cousins, Shelley & the kids in your prayers...they really need them!