Update

We've spent the last two days sorting out the correct information from the rumors & trying to make sense of everything with little progress. There are so many stories out there & none of them so far have all the info. So far we are sticking with the most reliable source which says that the main part of the plane, I guess that would be the cockpit, was mostly in tact. The rest of the plane was in pieces. They found their bodies & by the damage done, could tell they were killed on impact. It is nice to know they didn't suffer. I did find another news report, however, that is a good one.

Family Talks About Plane Crash Victims

As you can tell, it's after midnight again & I feel no signs of being able to sleep. So I'm blogging. I just got done reading my sister-in-law, Ranie's blog...she's got a whole bunch posted about it. She did a great job with getting the details out & updating everything. She also has some good pics, including some cute ones of Colin & Jed when they were little. You should check it out.(You can link to it from my sidebar.)

I got to spend a little bit of time today with Regina (my aunt) & the girls (my cousins). Shelley, Jordan's wife, was there for a few minutes. I was even more at a loss for words with them. I told them I was sorry & that I was praying for them. I talked with Regina for a few minutes & then excused myself to give them the time together. There really aren't words to describe the mood, the feelings in that room that nobody ever wants to feel. After leaving, my heart hurt more than before.

I have come to two conclusions. The first is that I've lived a pretty sheltered life. Just over four years ago my dad's parents died within 3 months of each other. That was the first time that I'd lost someone close to me. It was hard & I felt a lot of pain for my dad in losing his parents. But at the same time, the whole family knew that they were better off. Their health had been failing for a while. I think that gave us all comfort. Then when my mom's dad passed away, it was so sudden. Even though he was getting old enough that we were all subconsciously getting prepared, it still hit everyone pretty hard. We all felt a tremendous amount of pain for my grandma. But really, up until that point, I hadn't had to deal with much loss. I know that when you love someone, you hurt when they hurt(I think that is something every mother learns all too quickly). But I guess I was kind of naive about it. I had no idea that I would hurt so badly for everyone else who is so much closer to the situation. The second conclusion is that I want to continue to be sheltered.

So, if you're still reading at this point, thanks for sticking with me through my ramblings about my feelings & please keep my aunt, cousins, Shelley & the kids in your prayers...they really need them!

Honestly, no title fits...

ksl.com - Deadly plane crash kills two Utah men

I am at a complete loss of words. My mind can't think of a title or first line, my hands are shaking, my heart is pounding. My eyes are having a hard time focusing on the screen through the tears. These men are my uncle & cousins.

I have too many memories with my cousins to count. Jed was the same age as my older brother, Colin. Jordan was the same age as my younger brother, Bryce. They have a sister who is my age...so the youngest three in their family matched the youngest three in ours. Whenever we had family things together, we would all pair up & hang out. I have many, many memories of us playing at my grandparents house just down the road from their house in Idaho. We would go back & forth between houses, sliding down ditches, swinging across them on a rope, driving their little motorcycle all around the yards, sleepovers out on their trampoline, helping them pick funny little striped bugs out of their garden, my Aunt Regina making us French bread pizza. I even remember when they had to put their dog to sleep the summer Colin & I spent a few weeks there.
But you know what? The memories aren't what's making me sad, in fact, they make me quite happy. I'm struggling most with the pain that I know the family is going through. No matter how hard I have tried, I can't quite get their faces out of my head. It's why I (along with everyone else, I'm sure) didn't sleep last night. It's why I'm awake right now at 1:30am. When I close my eyes, I see them all...my aunt, who lost her husband & both sons...my cousins, who lost their father & brothers...my grandma, lost her son & two grandkids so soon after losing her husband. And I have such an ache in my heart for Jordan's wife & little ones. Will those kids even remember how wonderful their father was? I just hurt so badly for all of them. My sadness cannot compare to theirs & unfortunately, I can do nothing to ease it for them. There's all the typical things I could say, but does it really help right now? There are no words. There is nothing I can do. They are my family, I love them, and I can't do anything. It sucks to feel so helpless. All I can do is pray for their comfort & hope they feel of my love for them.

Ron, Jed & Jordan were incredible men who will be missed greatly!

Hiking Timpanogos!?!

A little over a week ago, we hiked Timpanogos Mtn. with my family. I was slightly concerned about how my kids would do. Madelyn hiked it last year with James, so I knew she'd be okay, but I just didn't know what to expect from the boys. Austin is usually the one who asks to be carried while Trey runs all over the place whenever we go anywhere. Surprisingly, Austin did great while Trey made James carry him on his shoulders the entire way up (& back down) the mountain. When we got to the top, I noticed James wasn't even winded after carrying him either...so not fair. I'm so out of shape that I was almost as worried about myself making it up as I was the kids:) But to my defense, I did think I would have a harder time than I did. Last time I hiked it I was 10 years younger & in better shape...or so I thought. I remember my legs hurting a lot more last time. I didn't have any problem this time. I've come to the conclusion that it's one of two things...either I was a young, inexperienced wuss last time, or carrying three kids around & going up & down stairs (also carrying kids) for the last 8 1/2 years has given my legs enough workout that they just took that mountain in stride. Probably a little of both:) My lungs struggled more than my legs. I'm not sure if that's a good thing? Overall, it was lots of fun & the kids did great! Of course the kids thought the cave was cool...I knew they would love that part. The only down side for me was the fact that my heart was constantly jumping out of my chest the entire time. Every time one of my kids got within a foot of the edge, I about had a heart attack. I kept forcing myself inbetween them & the edge. I know I'm a little paranoid, but it is a scary thought to think of one of your kids falling off...especially when you have one child who walks while looking everywhere except where he is going. It didn't matter that he was on James' shoulders, my nerves were still jumpy. I have to admit that I was very relieved when we all reached the bottom safely!!

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Hi!

For those of you who actually take the time to check my blog every now & then...I'm back! Hopefully for good:) It's been crazy. So much has happened, which means that I should have a lot to post about. After my family (& myself) was nursed back to health, we plunged right into "Spring cleaning". We washed walls, baseboards, window sills & painted. I got a burst of energy after getting better from whatever it was that I had, so I was going crazy getting things done. By the time that week was over, my body gave out again. I think I pushed it too hard after being so sick. I just couldn't finish. Does anyone else ever have times like that?? Sometimes I want so badly to get certain things done, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't. Like my body rebels against my mind:) Then all of a sudden, I go crazy & get it all done in one day. I'm weird:) But anyway, this week (hopefully) I'm tackling the blinds & carpets that I didn't get done. I figure since we are having the weather we should have had during the Spring, I can get away with still finishing cleaning that should have been done then as well, right?!

Our big project that we did was painting. Our entire great room was off-white with beige doors & I was getting really tired of it. So we "spiced it up" a bit! For Mother's Day, James sent me off to Rod Works & wherever else I wanted to go to get some new decorations. We hadn't changed much since we moved in 6 years ago & it needed updated...especially with the new colors. So off I went. Our house looks completely different. It's amazing what painting & a bit of new decor will do! We moved in after the people who were going to buy it decided to buy somewhere else. But it had already been done to their specifications. I just left it how it was. Now I feel like it's more "me"! See what you all think...

The kids got right in & helped...they had fun & it made them feel pretty "grown-up"


Trey got about as much paint on himself as he did the wall:)


Doorway...exciting, huh:)


My new brown wall!!


Kitchen...


Another kitchen pic:)


My new drapes...I HATED my blinds that were there before.


I was so worried about this color...but I absolutely love it!!


View of the entire great room...


Next, I'll get caught up with the things the kids have been up to. I've got a lot of reading to do as well. I've missed knowing what's going on in everyone else's lives...I can't wait to get caught up:)

House Full of Sicko's

So, I got I few little updates in & then like always, I slacked off again. I have found it quite hard lately to sit at the computer for more than a few minutes. I don't know if I'm just restless or what? So in case anyone is wondering, I haven't disappeared & I am going to be better at this & at reading others blogs as well...at least I'm really going to try. However, you'll have to be patient for just another little while. Last Friday Trey started coughing & got a fever...Saturday it hit Austin...Sunday it hit me...Monday it hit Maddie...OH JOY!!! This is not just any cold either. My fever lasted from Sunday afternoon until overnight Thursday. I was beginning to get really worried. I couldn't even sit up let alone take care of the kids. I don't get sick either, so this was weird for me. The only thing that ever puts me down like that is Strep. My voice was gone, I couldn't breath, coughing continually...same with the kids. It's been quite a week here at our house. But we are all slowly getting some energy back & the coughing has let up. However, mine seems to have centered now on my sinuses & even now it's extremely hard to sit and look at this screen. The pain behind my eyes is not fun. Because of that, I'm going to call it quits for today. So, be patient & as soon as I'm able, I'll catch up with everyone & hopefully get back to regular blogging:)

Happy Birthday, James

Today, the love of my life turns 32:) I would call him old, except I'm not far behind. I wish I could adequately express how wonderful he is, how grateful I am just to have him in my life...let alone, the most important part of it. He has been my better half now for over 10 years. He's the one to calm me down when I've "popped my top", the one to listen when I need to vent, the one to make me laugh when I'm down. He is an amazing Father. He's patient & kind & loving. His kids absolutely adore him. They follow him from room to room when he gets home, as do I:) He is such a hard worker...maybe too hard. Not that I'm complaining, he's made it possible for me to stay home with my kids. I think I've got it pretty good...he's figured out how to balance things quite nicely. He works when he knows he needs to, but has always made time - somehow - for his family. He's stubborn...he's half Irish, what can I say:) When he knows he's right about something, he doesn't let anyone convince him otherwise. But I love that about him...he sticks to his values & morals, no matter what!

I love his laugh, his smile (especially his crooked, half-smile), how he looks in a suit...oh my!, the way he holds my hand & plays with my fingers whenever I'm next to him, the way he still slaps my butt every time I walk past him (no matter where we are):), the fact that he knows my every fault & imperfection & loves me in spite of them. He is my strength, my security, my hope, my heart, my life!!!

That barely scratches the surface, but you get the gist:) This is one of my favorite pictures of him...cuddling Trey just minutes after he was born. He's got that "proud papa" look! I love it!



HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVE!!! XOXO

My Little Readers

About 3 weeks ago, Madelyn's school had a family read-a-thon to celebrate Dr. Seuss. So in the spirit of "catching up"...

Madelyn absolutely loves to read, so I knew it would be something she would enjoy. I didn't anticipate how much my boys would like it. They love to be read to, but I wasn't sure how well they would do for a straight hour. I was sure they were just excited to go to the school & be with Maddie. But they got all comfy on their blankets & pillows, got out their books & had a blast. At one point, they all ended up on one pillow, with Maddie reading all about bugs to the boys. Every once in a while, she would read them some fact that they all thought was gross or weird & they would all giggle. It was very sweet:) I hope they always keep this excitement for reading!!

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